Whose smile brings you delight? Let them know.
2.
Monday will mark one year since my mother died. I will have made it through all the firsts. Her birthday, my birthday, Mother's Day, holidays, a first year of days without her, including the first anniversary of her death.
Grief is teaching me, comforting me, challenging me, expanding me... Mostly leaving me raw to myself and the world. Time doesn't heal losses like this, rather it interfolds the grief into living. This is eventually a beautiful thing, after the pain has alchemized a bit.
Grief for all it's pain is also a spring of such rich joy, a kind of joy that can't exist without it. When we talk about grief we don't say much about how grief deepens and enriches joy. We talk a lot about how to get past the grief into joy, but this is a hollow kind of bypassing. Joy is not a bypass of grief, it is a partner in showing us the range of life.
3.
I love Isabella Rossillini's Instagram. In the 80's she was the face of Lancome and I wanted more than anything the life she smiled from inside the all the fashion magazines I hoarded. Now, decades later I see the real life, older woman she has become. So much more interesting than the glossy model perfect illusion I desired, although I never would have believed that in my
youth. She is quirky and funny and silly and rich with the kind of depth that only comes with living a good, long while.
I have many older women I admire and am inspired by. Isabella is one that has me contemplate how I want to grow old. How I want the patina of living to show on my skin and in my life. She has me rebel against all my conditioning and fears of what it means to be an old woman. If I am lucky I will become a very, very old one with eyes that sparkle and a laugh that cackles.
Here she shows a piece of jewelry made from ancestral left behinds and I want to make something similar.
4
Speaking of fashion icons, Andre Leon Talley died this week. I love his quote on luxury.
-Luxury is...to be able to take control of one's life, health, and the pursuit of happiness in a way that is joyful.
I like to say that self-care is not a luxury but an essential part of our well-being. Perhaps it is equally, or maybe more accurate to say self-care is a path to our greatest luxury. If you want tools for your own self-care luxury, join me in Empathy and Self-Care.
5
A blessing for your week:
