Being in bed a good part of this week recovering from being sick led to some time
contemplating time. The kind that passes so quickly and the kind that is infinite.
I hope your world has some good time magic. Here is some of what I found.
1.
I saw my mother in Costco a couple of weeks ago. Of course it wasn't her, she has been gone for 2 1/2 years now. But for one instant my eyes saw her and my body was about to go over to say "hi" in that casual way you do when you see someone unexpectedly out and about, completely forgetting she had died. Then in the next instant my brain caught up and I realized it was just someone who looked like her in a certain
way. It all happened in a fraction of a moment that also felt infinite.
Tears welled up as I took slow, deep breaths to ground the grief from carrying me away. It has been awhile since a grief wave hit so hard and you
know, it made me kind of happy. Not happy that I almost sobbed in the middle Costco, not happy that it felt like all the air had been sucked out of my lungs, but so very happy that for one instant/eternity my mom wasn't dead, wasn't sick, and was doing one of the mundane of things she enjoyed so much, visiting Costco.
2.
Time is finite. An hour is 60 minutes, there are 24 of them in a day, when done that day passes never to return, always replaced by another.
Time is also wimey, very wibbly wobbly, and sometimes the liminal veils part just enough letting the past and present, living and dead, meet up and remember.
3.
Which is more real? The tic tok metronome of infinite moments passing never to be seen again leaving room for the next and the new? Or the liminal
timelessness where the dead come to visit, where hours and days stretch and mold into new kinds of time?
4.
Maybe it is not a question of which is more real which implies one is more valid, but which is the one opening our hearts to the sensuality of living. This happens as much in moments of tending the tasks of the day as it does floating in dreamy time outside of time.
Maybe the question is what is being made more real through the kind of time we are in.
My mom
lives in the liminal but she sometimes visits in the linear. It is nice to know I have both. It is nice to trust the wisdom of both. It is great fun to be able to time travel.
5.
A blessing for your week:
(Wild Kuan Yin Oracle by Alana Fairchild, art by Wang Yiguang)
May you harvest the blessings that grow in the barren spaces.
