five things friday: thoughts from a home unraveled
Published: Fri, 01/12/24
January 12, 2024
Hello there,
I am knee deep in an
unexpected clear out/reorganization of our small home. Between my husband getting a new work desk requiring a complete reconfiguration of the downstairs space, and getting notice via the landlords, via the fire department, that we can no longer use the upper shelf space in our closets (why? new regulations?), the entire house has be thrown into disarray.
You know how, when you pull on
a stray thread and the tapestry unravels? Yup, that is were I am right now. In the middle of the mess wondering how it will ever come together, and knowing it will.
Here are a few things I am noticing in the unraveling. I hope they offer something for you also.
1. A home is
made up of more than what is purely necessary. It holds what gives comfort, safety, and nourishment. That may lavish belongings, sleek design, tattered objects previously belonging to others. It may be toys scattered by happy children, muddy shoes by the door, a chipped favorite mug holding tender memories, a neatly ordered cupboard that allow for space and breath.
Each of our needs for "home"
is different and unique to us. This forced redo of our space is a challenge to what our home has been. It is also an invitation to feel into what our home needs are now and align with them. This looks different than it did just a couple weeks ago.
Home, and what it needs are not static. Allow the shift and flow.
2.
Let it spark joy, and be functional. One or the other is good too.
I am leaning into Marie Kondo's guidance to keep only what "sparks joy" and letting myself shed things I have held onto out of
obligation or worry, things I've outgrown or don't like. Waiting for the "spark" be it joy or something else is a way of allowing the body and emotions to become diviners of truth and essence.
I am also leaning into wisdom from How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis. “Care tasks exist for one reason only… to make your body and space
functional enough for you to easily experience the joy this world has to offer.”
Both of these women's philosophies help me find a sweet spot between the extremes I get mired in of aesthetic perfectionism and cluttered neglect. Both lead to a kind of numbed panic. What is emerging is a kind of eclectic, cobbled together functionality that feels grounded
and supportive and has a kind of beauty of its own. I trust it will grow in aesthetic appeal but for now it feels okay.
Beauty also lives in imperfect and well used spaces. And dare I say, ones that may never be fully tidy and organized.
3. If you haven't already guessed, the realm of housekeeping is not something I am skilled at or enjoy. It often feels like a moral failing, and flailing, that I can't get all the things done and in the right places. Having a forced need to look at the depth of this all is humbling.
Another gem from KC Davis:
“You are not a failure because you can’t keep up with laundry. Laundry is morally neutral.”
I, and you if you struggle in a related way, are not a better or worse person for having a neat and beautiful home or a disheveled and chaotic one. Does it support safety, growth, and
well-being? If not there are adjustments to be made but these do not determine our worth. This "cleanliness is next to Godliness" thing is seriously stressful and hurtful!
Feel free to replace "home" in the above with any area you may be struggling. Maybe work, relationship, family... Tidy and ordered is not better than messy. What works
is.
4. Letting go is a ritual of becoming.
When honored as ritual it becomes a journey of realizing what is important now, what is calling now, and what is worthy of our life energy
now.
5.
A blessing for your week:
(Tree Keepers Oracle by Angi Sullins, art by Stephanie Law)
May the stories you live by serve the magic within you and the world around you. Choose good ones.
