five things friday: mom wisdom and international women's day
Published: Fri, 03/08/24
March 8, 2024
Hello there,
Happy International Women's Day!
And it is my mother's birthday. She would be
82 today.
Happy Birthday Mom.
Seems like a good day for a few pieces of mom wisdom, courtesy of Elizabeth Lucille Gauthier Davis-Callahan, aka Betty, Mom, Ammie.
Mom wisdom, those little things she did or said that still hold sway decades later. Maybe even surprisingly popping out of your mouth leaving you wondering when
you started becoming your mother.
I know a mother's influence is not always all warm cookies and milk, but seeing these little crumbs of shaping influences are like threads connecting us back in time. They are also how we are weaving of ourselves into the future as we pass on these tiny things to those around us. It is a bit like a kind of social/ancestral DNA. When we understand them
we understand a bit more about ourselves.
What mom wisdom do you find yourself remembering?
Here are a few of mine.
1. Plan
on being 15 minutes early and you will never be late.
In other words, it is important to value people's time even if it inconveniences you.
Oh do my brothers and sister have stories about this one.
Always early, sometimes uncomfortably so, we spent a lot of time sitting in waiting rooms and waiting for things to start. And, if you were inviting her over be sure to expect her early, inappropriately so for anyone other than your mother.
Annoying as it was as a kid, the advice works. 15 minutes is usually enough of a cushion to account for hunting
for hiding keys as you are leaving the house, unexpected traffic, or finding parking.
If I am too early, well I have some guilt free phone scrolling time! Even better, a chance to indulge in some found quiet time to sit and people watch. That is a whole other thing, the disappearing art of people watching in the age of smart
phones.
2. Always date a new book so you know how long you have had it.
Interestingly my mom never put her name in a book but her books
always had a date. I find it endearing that she felt the importance of noting when books came into her world but not her ownership of them. In addition to endearing I think it says something about stories and knowledge not being owned but rather making their way through time, living in a place for bit.
I love when I see a date in old book, and always
look for one. Unlike a publishing date, a handwritten date is a little stamp of when the book actually came into someone's life.
3. "I think you need a good cry."
While I don't advocate telling someone what they are feeling, and hearing this from my mother would send me into a fit of denying rage, but damn if she wasn't always right. Being a quiet and sensitive kid who held a lot inside she could tell when when it was becoming too much. When I needed a good cry. I always felt better. I still do.
Sometimes, more often than we may think, we need to let it all out in rivers of tears. I've been thinking a lot about this lately as so many of us are holding so much about life and the world in our bodies and psyches.
Will a good cry solve all problems, no. But more than you might expect.
4. Always bring a sweater. You can take it off if you are hot but you can't put it on if you are cold if you don't have it.
My mom's version of always being prepared. Usually said as we were leaving the house in order
to be 15 minutes early.
I am still that person going back to grab a sweater or wrap before leaving the house on a hot summer day, rolling my eyes as I do, hearing her say "Do you have a sweater? Bring one just in case." When I do unexpectedly needed it because the air turned chilly, it feels like mom love.
5.
A blessing for your week:
(The Animal Wisdom Tarot by Dawn Brunke, art by Ola Liola)
May a spirit of freedom guild you; may the strength of your vision direct you.
