Luscious Soulful Beauty: Let me tell you about my big brave thing... September 24, 2014
Hello Lovely,
Last week I did
something really scary. It made me lightheaded, nervous and full of self judgment. And you know what? I didn't die. I didn't even faint. Or throw up.
You know what else? I surprised myself. I kind of had fun. Enough fun that I am going to continue.
What did I do? I took part in a 5 day video challenge with Kris Oster of Mythic Rhythm through her Facebook group Enchanted Entrepreneurs. (If you by chance have not heard of her, check her out. Especially if you are a mystically inclined business person. Magic + Myth + Biz smarts = Powerful. Shhh, its a secret group so let me or Kris know if you want in and we will teach you the secret
handshake, aka add you in.)
Each day last week I created a video on the theme of bringing heaven to earth. Yummy topic, yes? Good enough, along with Kris' inspiration and safety to tempt me. And prizes. Totally helped that there were prizes.
The thing is, I have spent my life actively avoiding being on camera. It has scared
me, intimated me, just was never something I had any plans of doing, ever. Never. Not going to happen. Other people did video. Not. Me.
Except.
Sometimes our inner wise guidance has another plan. There was a tiny, but undeniably strong voice that said "Do it.
Just do it. Do it. Do it." Kind of like your girlfriends on the playground telling you to go ask the cute boy under the tree to be your lab partner because they know you really want to.
My brain said No. Some deeper part said yes. So I listened to the deeper voice that felt more true, if unfamiliar, rather than the familiar voice that sounded more safe and logical, but not quite true.
Color me shocked!
That is how it is with our intuition and inner guidance. It is not ruled by our past and how we know ourselves in the present. It is tuned into our becoming, our growth, our life desire. It brings us to our edge so we can reach into what is forming beyond our knowing. And it often shocks us with
what it brings.
So, 5 days, 5 videos. They are not perfect. I have so much to learn. Of course I had a crap ton of judgement threatening to shut me down.
-Your hair is too frizzy.
-You need to clean your studio, or get a screen so people don't see how messy you are. Hide how disorganized you are!
-You look weird and puffy, not like your pretty professional pictures.
-Oh My God you say "like" and "um" too much.
-You sound
just like your sister!
The truth is this:
- My hair is curly and it has a mind of its own.
- My studio is not Pinterest ready and is absolutely lived in. I definitely work in creative chaos.
- I don't have professional lighting and make up, most nights I don't sleep as well as I would like. I look the way I look. Also, YouTube chooses the most unflattering screenshot for the video (have to learn how to work with that!) Again, I look the way I look.
- There is a learning curve and I am getting use to speaking in front of a camera.
- My sister and I come from the same gene pool and blood carries connection. She is also one of the most dynamic people I know.
I showed up anyway. I am so proud of myself for that. I am proud for leaping into the unknown and discovering a new way to express myself. I am celebrating doing the scary thing, while being scared and full of doubt the whole time. I am especially proud of not minimizing how big
a triumph this for me. This is so common. We snatch away our accomplishments, our triumphs, we weaken the impact of our courage because we compare ourselves with others. "This is not such a big thing, others do it all the time" we tell ourselves when this "common" "no big deal thing" is a very big, extraordinary thing for us.
Icky, Yucky, Cruel. Don't buy into it.
Claim your bravery.
Even when it is wobbly and imperfect and maybe the tinniest little thing to others. It is not to you and it will change you.
Here is why I share this story. That thing that scares you, the one
you are absolutely sure you will never, ever do. That very thing may make its way to you as an opening to more of your creative, soulful becoming. Just because you have not known yourself to do or be something does not mean you never will.
Of course always say "no" to what does not feel right, but also be willing to follow the small, quiet, surprising "yes" that invites you forward. It doesn't have to be big and
grand, it just needs to be yours.
This story is also a way of introducing my new, small, Yes. I am going to do a weekly video I am calling Thursday Tea, Behind the Curtain. A better name may come but for now that is what I am calling it. I want to create a little space in the week to touch in, relax, breathe, and chat about what is going in my luscious life creation. I hope
you will check it out. Episode will be posted on my blog and on my YouTube channel (Oh My God, I have a YouTube channel!). I am sure it will evolve over time but here is where I start and we'll will see where it goes. This feels tender and vulnerable and exciting. All the ingredients of rich, new discovery and creation!
What is your exciting new "Yes"? Is their a new, tiny edgy, whisper calling you? What if you allowed yourself to say yes?
Join me for tea time on the blog tomorrow!
Sandi
