Luscious, Soulful, Beauty:
November 26, 2014, Baking pumpkin bars and other life lessons.
Dear Wonderful One,
Thanksgiving energy is here in the States. Tomorrow my husband and I will gather with friends and celebrate the abundance and grace of our lives. It is an amazing gift to be safe and warm, in the presence of beloveds and new friends, to know that all is well with those I hold most dear. I know this is not the case for everyone, and I dearly hope that it is
for you.
Since it is Thanksgiving, that means baking season has begun! Specifically, pumpkin baking. I have pumpkin bars cooling
on the counter as I write. It is a new recipe for me and I tweaked it a bit. Not a lot and not in a way that will change things much. Also new for me, tweaking a recipe before I try it as written at least once! (I know, crazy, right?)
It is an infinitesimal thing, something many do all the time with out a
thought. But me, I am a follow the rules kind of girl. Except that at my core I really am not.
At my wild center I have always been one to see into the dark space, the places others don't want to show. I could feel how others were feeling and thinking with out them telling me. Often they
would deny what I sensed only to be revealed later that I was right.
In many ways I I have lived the life of a secret edge dweller. One who is willing to step outside convention for the purpose of growth and transformation. This has not always sat well with the more conventional parts of
life.
So I learned to protect myself by trying to fit in even as I never truly felt I did. I followed the rules so I would not have to feel the push back of voicing my preferences and truth.
I never substituted anything in a recipe with out first trying it as written, because, well, what if I was wrong?
And I ruined it.
And let
others down.
And I learned that my hunches and intuitions were really not to be trusted?
And everyone saw what at big phoney I was.
And no one trusted me again.
Quite a lot of pressure to put on the choice to use individual spices or the pumpkin pie spice blend the recipe called for! I can laugh at this little bit of personal neurosis now, but for many, many years it kept me in hiding and chained to the "right and proper" way I needed to live.
Want to guess how often I was able to live up to those rules? (Hint: Never. I could never live up to the perfectionist spirit of the rules even when I could achieve the basic goal.)
One of the gifts of getting older is wisdom. And just not having the energy to care so much about every little thing. Oh, and learning over the years that everyone else is living their own version of my "must follow the recipe as written" rules. We all go though multiple initiations of self that have us choose our unique and special way of living or refuse the initiation and live according some false self we keep trying
to make fit.
But really, what has freed me up the most was learning how my energy works. Falling in love with how I am uniquely designed to walk
though this life. How to recognize what brings me alive and in love with life and how to say no to anything that does not.
The lessons are not always easy, some take time and many require frequent relearning. But many are heart expanding and joy filled and down right
luscious.
Is it time for you to cast off more of your false self? To get to know the deeper truth of your wild center?
I invite you into devotional communion with your wild core self. The you underneath all the rules you think you need.
*Look to see where you are living by rules because you always have. Question them.
*Journal or otherwise explore the question:What if I were not afraid of letting anyone down or doing it wrong? How would I live my life? What is one tiny, teeny tiny, thing you could do now to start living that life?
*Gather trusted friends and together form a wild tribe of personal truth seekers. Help each other see the elemental uniqueness of each other.
Of course this is my personal passion work, to help others live their elemental true selves. To
find their luscious souls and be lead by them. If you want a partner and guide for your journey, please consider working with me. I would love to support you in your deeper discovery of self.
In the mean time, I am wishing you warmth and love.
I am in deep gratitude for you and how you welcome my words into your world.
Much love,
Sandi
