Hello Dear One,

Have you been feeling angryanguished overwhelmedgriefconfusedhelpless hopelessapatheticragesorrow...? 

Yeah, me too.

• The video of George Floyd murdered by police. 
• The protests when justice didn’t come. 
• The way protests against police brutally and white supremacy have swept the United States and the world. 
• The military used against citizens.
• Protesters gassed to make way for racist leader’s photo op.
• Curfews.
• The predictable racist backlash and denial. 
• The list goes on and on and on.

I am one of those nice white women brought up to not make waves, not cause trouble, agree, hold my tongue, not upset anyone. To not see color. To believe in the institutions charged with protecting us.

I learned well, but what was learned needs to be actively and continually unlearned.

I haven't directly talked directly about race much, if at all, in my online and business spaces. I've been scared, shy, awkward, all those nice white people reasons for not speaking directly to racism.

This is not benign, it is harmful and dangerous.

Cornel West says that "Justice is what love looks like in public." Without actively dismantling white supremacy and racial disparity, there can be no justice. Without looking at where it lives inside of me, of us, there is no way to heal it outside. It is essential for building a truly loving world.

I am not an expert in anti-racism. I am not an activist in any traditional sense. I am not one to take to the streets. My strength is having intimate conversations that reveal the inner truth of the heart. I believe that where the heart goes, action follows. Where just action flows, love takes root and grows.

White people, we have a lot to unlearn before we can hear the truth of our heart not veiled by the white supremacy this country was built on. It infuses every aspect of it, and us. It is the water we swim in not seeing until it becomes so polluted we can't breathe.

We may not have a choice in how we were brought up and socialized but we are responsible to dismantle and heal its harm. We need to see and remove the pollution.This is our work to do.

The good news is that each step of untangling the web of racism woven through us, through our families and dear ones, our communities and country, each step matters. Each step heals. Each step pushes back and reclaims true justice and sovereignty for everyone.

There is no one way/right way to do this kind of unlearning except to start and keep going. It has never been easier to find a way to begin or to expand on what we are already doing.

For most of us this work is like running a marathon we have not trained for, while thrashing through a sticky web of historical, institutionalized injustice that does everything to stop us from running. Don't not run, train.

Again I am not an expert on anti-racism and am continually humbled by my blind spots and biases. I offer the following not from a place of brilliance or expertise, Lord knows I'm not that, but to let you know some of what I am doing in case it gives you ideas or helps you find your way to unlearn the racist ways of our culture.

Don’t wait to be perfect or know everything before implementing what you are learning. This is a big one for me personally. Practice taking off the perfectionist hat. For me it looks like sending this with out spending three weeks researching perfect resources and filling my library with "approved" books. Perfectionism is highly related to performance and the last thing we need is more performative wokeness. Mistakes will be made. It's ok. Not fun, but survivable.

Follow black people on social media. Not just the scholars and activists but black people interested in the same things you are. Love knitting? Follow black knitters. Are you a gardener? Follow black gardeners. Look at who the people you follow follow. Learn about the everyday lives of people different from you. Do not expect them to educate or validate you, listen,appreciate, get to know their world and life experience.

Seek out and pay for the art, creativity, stories, and work of black people. Share what moves you. Personally I am much better at appreciating than sharing. I am working on improving this. 

Notice where you get uncomfortable. Is it the discomfort of having your world view challenged and changed? The pain of becoming conscious of the depth of violence and injustice leveled at black people for centuries? Is it the overwhelm of so much information flooding in? When you want to turn away or get defensive, stay a bit longer, dig deeper as to why. Pinpoint the root so it can be faced.

Know when you need a break. Remember, this is a marathon. Know when you need to hydrate, and then keep going. Being uncomfortable is part of the healing, and this gets easier. Burning out stops it. Learn to recognize the difference.

Honor and listen to your emotions, do not bypass them. These are hard times, there will be, needs to be big, often intense emotions. Be angry at the injustice and violence. Let grief honor the pain and loss. Let fear alert you to the change rising up. Let joy carry in healing.

Learn what your emotions need to communicate to you and how to respond in a way that respects you and them. They will guide you to the truth of your heart. I can help you here. If you want to go deeper, reach out.

Vote.

There is so much more, but what has helped you? What resources are you using and recommending? How are you making it through these times?

We can do this. The discomfort of facing and healing our systemic racism is nothing compared to the continued harm and devastation of not doing it.

Justice is what love looks like in public- Cornel West

 

Love and courage,

Sandi