five things friday: doubt, hot pink and shimmery gold, choice
Published: Fri, 05/31/24
May 31, 2024
Hello there,
It is the final day of May. I am
winding up my #createplaymay self-challenge today. I am glad I kept showing up for it. Sharing art is scary and vulnerable, especially when it is unfinished snippets and bits so I am proud of myself. It has been a rich time full of discovery and fun and I feel a little braver for it. As you might
expect I have some thoughts to share and some tiny (but not actually so tiny) magic to pass along.
Shall we get started?
1. Keep returning. What ever your practice or routine or ritual may be, return.
Somehow making the switch from needing to be "consistent" to "returning" shifted something fundamental about
maintaining a practice. Rather than feeling ridged and needing perfect adherance to this challenge to myself it has felt like over and over homecoming to a dear friend. One that will always welcome me, and tell me the truth. Rather than something to struggle to maintain, or struggle against, it has felt like a well to draw from.
2.
Doubt will come. Have it work for you rather than against you.
After the fresh and exciting energy of beginning wears off the voices of doubt get louder. They may have been quieted by the enthusiasm of starting but they will return.
Doubt helps us assess, it helps us see gaps. It asks if we want to keep going. If we
wield doubt like a bloody sword meant to kill any rebellion against old and limiting beliefs about ourselves it will indeed to that job. Rather, what if our doubt comes when we need to make a choice that will better aligned us with our current self, goals, and devotions?
Rather than, "I suck, I can't do this, I should give up" it was "I am not as skilled as I wish I was, how can I improve?"
Rather than, "I missed a day, I must not be committed enough" it was "I missed a day, what is my true intention and is it still important?"
Rather than a bloody sword used against ourselves doubt can be a crossroad where we choose our next steps. A sometimes prickly and harsh one, but still an opportunity to come into deeper and more honest relationship with ourselves and
dreams.
3.
Hot pink and shimmery gold forever and ever, Amen.
Some form of brilliant pink showed up in every painting this month. For me this is a color of freedom, boldness, and childhood dreams. It is telling me a
story of claiming old dreams and the possibility of vitality and boldness in those dreams.
Later in the month I started adding a shimmery gold watercolor to some of the paintings. While it
doesn't show well, or shows too much, in photographs, it adds glimmery light. It feels magical and enchanting.
Color is a powerful language. If a color suddenly catches your fascination, follow it. Let it infuse you and speak its spell into your heart and imagination.
4.
And now what?
This month of 15 minutes of mark making a day has done what I hoped for and more. I will continue a daily art/mark making practice but without the 15 minute timer. I will continue returning knowing doubt will come and choices will be made each day. Will I sit at the table today? What colors? What medium? I am reminded of the Steven Presserfild book, Put Your Ass Where
Your Heart Wants to Be. I haven't read the book but the title is everything.
Is my ass where my heart wants to be? Is yours? If not, what will get it there? What I have learned this month (yet again) is that task mastering myself doesn't work and is not kind. Welcoming myself and returning to myself does and is the real practice. Maybe it is the same
for you.
5.
A blessing for your week:
(The Citadel Oracle by Fez Inkwright)
May you choose to honor yourself and values and take right action with dignity, honor, and love.
Until next time, Sandi
If you liked these little tiny thoughts and magic, will you share with others who also might like them? I'd appreciate it so much.
