five things friday: not group decisions, truest selves, intimate courage
Published: Fri, 04/19/24
April 19, 2024
Hello there,
31 years ago I sneezed in a
bookstore and a stranger said "Bless you." That stranger and I have now been married 24 years. As we do every year, later today we will visit the bookstore where it all started. Actually, not the exact same one, that location is not longer, but another from the same local independent chain. Our yearly ritual honoring our meeting.
A lot changes in 31 years. In the world, in us. Alan and I are
not the same two young adults who fell in love over three decades ago. We have changed together and separately but the constant is that our hearts always know we have a home in each other.
As I head into the weekend celebrating a random meeting that changed everything I leave you with some little things that that might not change anything but have brought me some insight and little
magic this week. And then again, who knows? Even tiny shifts and insights, not to mention blessings, hold magic.
A time to share our truest selves just hits us… and when we decide that we can depend on ourselves… we are free – We learn to choose how we spend our time or who we spend it with carefully… without judgement, but with
discernment…
Who you are is not a group decision…"
I wrote a bit more about being or not being a group decision, especially as I find myself in an older phase of life, over on
Patreon. The post is public, I hope you check it out.
How much of you (and when I say "you" I totally mean us" has been given away to others to dictate? How much is it time to reclaim?
2.
The Queer
Tarot. You don't have to identify as queer, or be into tarot, to be charmed by this deck.
I mean, look at the pinks! And this is one
of my all time favorite card backing, tarot or not:
Can you tell I've been have a great time with this deck all week? It is exuberant,
caring, truthful, an anthem to not being a group decision. I didn't expect to be so taken with it but delight comes in unexpected places.
3.
I asked what this deck wants us to know, the Queen of Wands stepped forward:
She says, "When you find the confidence to be who you are we are all lifted and served, including and most importantly, you. Embrace yourself in all your
beauty and quirks and know your presence is noticed, wanted, and inspiring."
Fiery and wise, she asks us all how can we grow the confidence to be more unapologetically ourselves. She challenges us to show up and show out with courage and boldness to that which holds our heart.
4.
I can't talk so much about exuberant self-expression with out also talking about having the safety and support to do so. We all have reasons why we hold the most unique, tender, wonderful, gifted parts of ourselves back. They are valid and deserve respect.
And, there will be a time, a moment, a spark of instant when boldness rises and the risk to show more of yourself is worth that risk. Maybe, like Pamela "we decide that we can depend on ourselves" because we have earned our own trust through the trials of living and healing, of age and experience.
Maybe we realize:
It is not worth the while to let our imperfections disturb us always. ― Henry David Thoreau
How ever it happens, I see you being bold in a million tiny and not so tiny ways. Ways maybe unnoticed to others
but I know they are happening because you are here.
It takes an intimate kind of courage to be ourselves. A kind of courage I continue to build, the kind of courage you are growing too.
