Sometimes I got nothin'. Ebb and flow, life ebbs and flows. I want flow. To glide, to be carried on to my next important place on a waves of inspiration and intention and energy. Any yet, that flow is fueled by the ebbs. I don't always like the ebbing places. I forget the feeling of taking a deep inhale after an exhausting exhale. The pulling back, the stripping down,
the emptying. In the ebbing times there is still magic to be found and blessings to receive. Gentle moments, messy beauty, secret messages, all found not in force and determination but in surrender.
The ebbing times show me/us how to let go, be in the unknown, question, realign, create anew. The ebbing tides of life show us what is underneath, the old bones, the unseen life, the space to be
filled once again.
Enjoy some tiny tales from my ebbing place. Whether you are in a place of ebb or flow, what makes it so? What gems come from just the place you are?
1.
15 minutes of creative play.
Is it a mess? Is it art? Is it messy art? Does it
matter?
It has been too long since I sat down at my art table and just played with out thought or goal. For the month of May I want to rebuild my creative practice by taking 15 minutes each day to get messy with paint and paper and glue and ink and what ever other scrapes of stuff are at hand.
Maybe a bit of art will come out of it,
bad or otherwise. All I know is that a few moments of mark making without judgement is what freedom feels like.
Set a timer. Make some marks. Feel better.
2.
I am working to replicate Starbuck's Iced Lavender Cold Foam Chai Latte with some lavender
syrup I made. My first attempt was not bad, good actually. It very well may be my new Spring/Summer fancy drink.
I don't always love spending time in the kitchen but this week in addition to the lavender syrup making and experimenting I made chicken bone broth and replenished my sadly neglected sourdough starter, Bill. Actual bread did not get made but BIll is once again happy and active.
Soup was not made but future me will be so happy to have this when future soup is needed.
Something about this kind of kitchen time connects me to ancestor wisdom, a feeling that I belong to a long line of women who spent much more time in their kitchens out of necessity and how that labor gave nourishment and love to those in their care. I feel my grandmother's hands and the watchful
eyes of the countless women before them.
It is funny how threads of connection weave themselves. From wanting to copy a $7 special chai to feeling the ways our ancestors are already woven in us.
3.
Evening walks are back as there is still sunlight after the rush of the day has quieted. Whiffs of jasmine and wisteria linger in the still warm air, my mind calms down and things feel peaceful rather than empty.
4.
I read cards for a group this past week. Not something I do often, but it sparked some thoughts on faith I shared over on Patreon. The post is now public if you want to read the whole
thing.
"I have seen so many unexplainable synchronicities in readings that can not be explained through logic and research. The unseen realms, the animist nature this world, intangible Eros moving and connecting in ways that can only be understood as the mystery of living. I have faith in this. And I question it all the time.
I remind myself that if I was sure I would not need faith. Faith and questions
keep me honest. Faith allows me to step outside the known and be open to the the ways that life can be tangible and unknown at the same time. Questioning that faith keeps me from losing my discernment and integrity."
While I want to find absolute surety and truth in life I also don't want to lose the nuance and magic of the unknown. How living with mystery, with the dance of reason and faith, of empirical truth and personal gnosis is
where wisdom grows.
5.
A blessing for your week:
(The Citadel Oracle by Fez Inkwrite)
May you find love and joy in tending and being with those you love, may you be tended well by those who love and watch over you.
