February 21, 2025
Hello there,
I've been looking at despair
and hope. I've been feeling despair and hope. I have some things to say about despair and hope.
Shall we?
1.
Despair is one of those "bad" emotions isn't it.
Dangerous even. To be avoided! And yet, as I have let it in, let myself fall to the bottom of it, I hear whispering to the deeper parts of me that this despair is fertilizing the barren ground that can no longer grow life. What can no longer live in the ways it has will compose through the churning dismay of these times and the ground of me, of us, will renew.
This is the work of despair and its other expressions, sadness and grief- to recognize what is ending so we do not stay frozen in false hope or denial, and instead be able to flow with the greater currents of life.
2.
To feel despair at the state of this moment
in time is a normal human response.
It is a sign your emotions and empathy are intact. This is a very good thing. If despair is unrelenting and obstructing the flow of your other emotions and life than you need help. Reach out to a trusted friend or healing professional. Hard times are not to be suffered alone.
(Reminder: There are no bad or good emotions. Each one carries important and needed information, even the very uncomfortable ones. Each has a reason for arising and each can cause problems if stuck or cycling. Learn to understand the language of your emotions and unlock your essential wisdom. I highly recommend
this book. If you want to go deeper,
I can help.)
3.
When I google "despair etymology" this comes up:
Middle English: the noun via Anglo-Norman French from Old French desespeir ; the verb from Old French desperer, from Latin desperare, from de- ‘down from’ + sperare ‘to hope’.
Hmm, Despair- down from Hope. I imagine a little village where Despair lives down the road from Hope. Neighbors, who from time to time borrow a cup of
sugar or invite each other to tea to talk about life. So different, yet needed by the other.
I have been having tea with both these days. I recommend it. Hope and Despair have some good gossip. Like, did you know that despair secretly loves that moment when we break down in tears? Not because it loves our pain but because it knows the healing gateway is in the tears.
Also, Hope is exhausted and tends to rely on too much sugar and caffeine to get it through the rough patches! It is tired of being the distraction for the things we don't want to feel. Hope longs for the tears of Despair to flow and clear away the debris of what has been lost. It longs to be unburdened of the work of bypassing the hard things and do its true work of planting seeds for new
futures.
Hope and Despair are not exclusive to each other. They can dance intricate beauty into the world. Hope, Joy, Happiness, Despair, Sadness, Grief, none more important than the others, each offering unique wisdom, all needing the others in the dance of living.
4.
Do I love feeling despair? Not so much. Does hope feel better in my body? Usually, yes. Would I rather feel hope and not despair? No. I want to feel truthfully and I want my emotions to inform my heart and actions in good and useful ways. If that means having them over for some tea and gossip, along with a good dose of information and guidance on a regular basis, I'm on board. Even when it is uncomfortable.
Think about what emotions you want to some time with to get to know better. Let me know what they are. I can give you some good questions to ask them.
5.
A blessing
for your week:
